How free are you to do the things you want to do? For most of us I would suggest, not very… Absent of any external constraints on our freedom, all of us have things we would like to do, or behaviours we would like to change. But over and over again, this fails to occur. Doesn’t sound like real freedom, does it? We are usually our own biggest barrier, blissfully unaware we carry the keys to our own cell…

I think the fundamental reason behind this is that we believe we freely choose our actions on a moment-by-moment basis. Think about it…. Do you consider every action you take while driving a car? Mowing the lawn? Do you consider every word you use when you have a conversation? We rarely do. Our conversations wouldn’t have the marvellous ability to flow back and forth if each of us pondered in detail each word we were about to say. It’s as almost like we ‘channel’ the words that we produce in any given moment, speaking consistently with the tone and vocabulary we have come to use at this point in our life, specific to that particular person, in that particular situation…  The same applies with undesirable behaviours and habits.  We know we don’t want to do them, but over and over we simply find ourselves in their familiar embrace.

So how can we hope to make real change when so many of our daily actions seem to happen on autopilot?  The answer lies in making our real choices alone, in a place of quiet, undisturbed reflection, by using these moments to create a new set of automated responses for our daily lives.  Each time we repeat an undesirable behaviour, we reinforce it, making it harder to change and easier to fall into unconsciously.  By making effort away from the pressures and influences of our daily lives we give ourselves real opportunity for change. This is why affirmations, incantations and mantras can be so powerful.  In these moments we have no pressure to externally act, no concern about what others think of us. We can sit comfortably in the attributes and characteristics of the person we know we always have been, but have yet to reveal to the outside world.  Visualising yourself behaving as you truly desire in situations you may have found difficult till now can also be an incredibly powerful exercise.  It has been conclusively demonstrated that your brain cannot tell the difference between a ‘real’ experience and one that has been vividly imagined – use this to your advantage!

We can then become the true masters of our lives… I know the life you hold deep inside is truly extraordinary; it is time to share it with the world…

How free do you feel to make the choices you do in your life? What techniques do you use to change unwanted habits?